On Belay: Why ADHD Coaching Isn’t Just Another Self-Help Hack

When I explain the difference between ADHD coaching and therapy, I often use a rock climbing metaphor.

Think of it this way: you’re the one climbing the rock face. It’s your route, your pace, and your effort. ADHD coaching doesn’t climb for you but it doesn’t leave you on the cliff alone either. The coach is on belay, grounded, experienced, and right there with you. They know the terrain because they’ve either climbed it themselves or helped others up similar routes.

Coaching is collaborative, practical, and action-focused. It's not about fixing you. It's about supporting your movement with the right tools, perspective, and encouragement. It’s structured, but flexible. Supportive, not prescriptive. Strategic, but grounded in how your brain works.

By contrast, psychological therapy often involves going inward working with the emotional patterns, experiences, and stories that have shaped you over time. If coaching is about charting a way forward, therapy is often about understanding the terrain you’ve already travelled.

Both are valuable. Both can support people with ADHD. But they serve different functions.

That’s why choosing between coaching and therapy isn’t a question of right or wrong it’s about what kind of support is most useful to you right now. Do you need space to process, understand, and heal? Or are you ready to act, experiment, and problem-solve with someone beside you?

And if you’re not sure? That’s okay too. I’ve created a simple checklist to help you explore the fit.

“You’re the one climbing, but your coach is on belay, steadying the rope, reading the route, and supporting you as you go.”

TL;DR:

• Coaching = practical, forward-focused, with the coach as your belay partner

• Therapy = deeper emotional work, often about insight, healing, and internal patterns

• You don’t have to choose blindly clarity comes with asking the right questions (or using this checklist)

Belay: A climbing safety technique where one person (the belayer) manages the rope to protect the climber from falling. The belayer stays grounded and attentive, providing support and catching the climber if they slip. Belayers are typically experienced climbers themselves familiar with the terrain, the gear, and how to respond when things get uncertain.

Climber and belayer working together. Kalbarri 2015